What do I do if the condom breaks?

If a condom splits or slips off during sex, stop having sex immediately and use a new condom. If the condom rips during vaginal sex, the female partner can use emergency contraception within five days to avoid a pregnancy, but the sooner she takes it, the more effective it is. (See section on emergency contraception)

You should also try to understand why the condom split.  Did you read the instructions on the pack carefully?  Or at all?

Did you use an expired condom or an oil-based lubricant? 

Did you tear it with a fingernail while putting it on?

Understanding what happened can help to prevent it from happening another time.

What do I do if I lose my erection after I have put on a condom?

If the erection returns, the same condom can be used, but partners should make sure that the condom is once again rolled down the shaft of his penis and that there is still pinchable space at the tip. 

If more time passes (perhaps an hour or more) before continuing intercourse, then a new condom should be used. 

A new one should also be used if the man’s penis is traveling from a partner’s anus to vagina, anus to mouth or from one partner to another.

What do I do if the condom doesn’t fit?

Make sure that the penis is erect when trying to put on the condom and make sure that the condom is rolled all the way down. 

Penises come in different sizes and most condom manufacturers now make large-sized condoms. 

You can also try using a bit of lubricant first, which will make it easier to put on. 

Can I use a condom in water? (in a shower, pool or lake, for example)

Using a condom in water may increase the risk of slippage, especially if water seeps in between the condom and the penis.  Although salty seawater does not have any adverse effect on condom materials, chemicals used in pools or tubs (chlorine, for example) and bacteria that may be present in the water could damage the condom and increase the risk of breaking.

What do I do if my boyfriend says that condoms make him lose sensation during sex?

It can take a while to get used to wearing a condom when you use them for birth control or for STD protection. Some men have trouble maintaining an erection while wearing a condom because it dulls sensation or makes them feel different sexual sensations, while others actually prefer using a condom because it can help them maintain an erection and make sex last longer.

Explain why condom use is important for you and encourage your partner to give condoms a fair chance. 

After a while, he may get used to them and no longer feel the difference. 

You can also try experimenting with different kinds, brands and shapes of condoms (and water-based lubes).  As a couple, you can try to make this a pleasant part of your sexual interaction rather than a burden.

Can I use two condoms at once for more protection if I know my partner has an STI?

No.  It is usually better to use only one condom.  Using two condoms could increase the friction, causing them to break.

If both partners are HIV positive, do we still need to use condoms?

Yes. There is more than one strain of HIV.  The viral loads of each partner may also be different.

What do I do if the condom slipped during sex and I can’t retrieve it from my vagina?

This is uncommon, but if the condom or part of it cannot be taken out of the vagina (or anus), you should seek medical advice as soon as possible to get it removed.  The vagina is a closed sac and there is no danger that the condom will travel inside your body.

What do I do if the condom slipped off when I was withdrawing from my partner’s vagina after sex?

In the future, remember to withdraw the penis from the vagina whilst it is still erect, holding onto the condom at the base of the penis to stop it slipping off. If any fluid escaped from the condom there is a chance that the female partner may become pregnant. If you are concerned that you may be pregnant in either case, you should consult a medical professional as soon as possible and ask about emergency contraception.

What do I do with my foreskin when using condoms?

This depends on personal preference, but most men find that if the foreskin does not retract itself when the penis becomes erect, gently easing it behind the head of the penis can make condom use more comfortable.  If you are concerned or condom use still feels uncomfortable, you can consult a health professional for advice.

If I’m on the pill and my partner and I have been tested for STIs, can we stop using condoms?

The fact that you’re using contraception and that you’ve been tested for STIs shows that you’re taking responsibility for your sexual health. 

However, you may want to keep using the condom for two reasons.  First, the pill is effective against pregnancy if taken every day at about the same time. 

Even when taken consistently, it is still not 100% effective. 

Condoms can give you extra protection against pregnancy. 

Second, oral contraceptives do not protect you against STIs. Even if you have been tested for STIs, some STIs may take more time to develop. 

More importantly, although both of you are committed to each other, relationships can change. 

It only takes one contact with an infected person to contract an STI and then pass it one to an unsuspecting partner. Continuing to use condoms is the safest route.

What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to use condoms?

Many people choose to say: “Safer sex or no sex!”. 

However, many feel uncomfortable talking about sex and contraception with a partner and often find themselves trying to convince their partner to use contraception at the moment when they are feeling most turned on, or most emotionally or physically vulnerable, making it a lot trickier. 

Ideally, a couple will discuss safer sex before even starting to kiss, giving you time to think and express your reasons for wanting to use contraception. 

Taking the time to have this important conversation with a partner can avoid many potential problems. 

You can let your partner know that you want to use contraception because you care about him or her, your sex life together and the future of your relationship.

If you take the time beforehand to have this important conversation, then you can head off any potential problems. For example, if you let your partner know that you want to use a condom, and he or she feels defensive about it, then you can take time to let him or her know that you want to use a condom because you care about him or her, your sex life together and the future of your relationship.

If you feel unable to talk about contraception with your partner, you could try non-verbal communication, for example leaving information about the importance of safer sex in a place where he or she would see it or placing a condom next to the bed.

See the section on ‘condom negotiation’ below for examples of arguments you can use to negotiate condom use.