Condom negotiation


Here are some lines you could use to persuade a partner to use a condom: 

She says, "I'm on the pill, don't worry." 
You say, "I trust you. But I want to protect both of us just in case."

He says, "We already did it without a condom once." 
You say, "And that was a mistake. I worried about being pregnant all month!"

She says, "What — a condom? Are you trying to say that I've cheated on you?" 
You say, "I trust you. I use condoms because I care about you, and me, and our future together."

He says, "I always pull out in time, don't worry."
You say, "I know, but when we use a condom you don't have to pull out. It can feel even better."

She says, "I can't feel anything when you wear a condom." 
You say, "That's awful! Let's wait then and try another brand or size that fits me better and some special ‘warming' lubricant tomorrow."

He says, "I can't keep a hard on with a condom." 
You say, "I can't relax and enjoy sex without a condom. So I'll help you stay hard."

You may also want to share with them your safer-sex concerns and some data to back up your concerns

• Every hour of every day around the world, two young people are infected with HIV.

• Young people get sexually transmitted infections (STIs). One out of every four sexually active adolescents gets infected with an STI each year.

• You cannot see or smell most STI infections. That means you can't just look at a partner and know whether or not he or she is already infected.

• Withdrawal is not effective at preventing pregnancy. About 27% of women become pregnant in the first year when their partners "pull out."

• Having a child costs a lot of money.  

Attitudes and values

Gender issues and responsibility

The woman is the one who is at risk of pregnancy, so she is often perceived as responsible for contraception. 

The male condom offers an opportunity for men to take part in this responsibility. 

However, there is also an increasing number of women who keep supplies of male condoms. 

Condoms and pleasure

Condoms can increase sexual pleasure by removing the fear of pregnancy/STIs. 

They can also help prevent/minimize premature ejaculation, making sex last longer. 

However, putting a condom on can interrupt intercourse, reduce penile sensation and cause some men to be unable to maintain an erection. 

Female condoms tend to have less effect on penile sensation, but they can be noisy, which some consider unattractive. Trying different brands, types and shapes can help to find a condom that does not decrease pleasure, and perhaps even enhances it.