Stories

Lisiane Messine is a CIFWA youth volunteer and formally the CIFWA Youth Representative for the East South East Asia and Oceania (ESEAOR) region of IPPF. She is also the Senior Probation Officer for the Cook Islands Government. Originally from the outer island of Aitutaki, she moved to New Zealand to complete her undergraduate studies. On return to Cook Islands, she became a CIFWA Youth Volunteer, and went on to become the first Cook Islands youth representative to gain a position on the ESEAOR Youth Executive Committee.  For International Volunteer Day, we are sharing part of Lisiane's story, in her own words. “I was born in Rarotonga (the main island of the Cook Islands) but raised in Aitutaki (a small outer island). I was raised by my auntie and uncle. I was given to them after they lost two of their children, one was an infant when it died, and one was a miscarriage due to my aunt’s job harvesting in the plantation the chemicals she was exposed to doing that. My biological mother was only 17 years old when she had me, so they decided that my auntie would raise me, and I am grateful and blessed she made that decision. I feel blessed to have two sets of parents. It’s quite normal in the Pacific for this practice to happen. We call them our ‘feeding family’.   Neither of my parents made it to university, they are both self-employed and sell vegetables for a living. My dad funded my university (Bachelor in Applied Social Worker) in New Zealand himself, all from selling vegetables. I’m just grateful. Living in NZ opened my eyes to talking openly about abuse in the family, sexual and reproductive health, relationships. My views changed.   I ran my first workshop for CIFWA at 15 years old. They had come to Aitutaki to run a Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) workshop and I thought ‘Oh my gosh all these things I am not allowed to talk about with my parents’ so as soon as I moved to Rarotonga, I visited CIFWA to see how I could get involved. Now I am seeing the young ones I have seen growing up since they were in nappies having a different experience to me.   I have friends who experienced things that I didn’t know how to deal with, so I thought if I were to learn how to help, I can help my younger friends, family and children not deal with these things and be safer. I was always the ‘go-to’ person for my friends to talk about things so I wanted to learn how to approach it with them.   In 2018, after I became the Youth Rep for CIFWA, we travelled to Malaysia with the other youth reps from around the Pacific, some of whom had never travelled that far before. I took on the role of unofficial ‘mama’ for the group and taking care of the group. It was my first time travelling that far too, but my English was better, so I wanted to take on the responsibility to make sure they were okay. I miss all the other Youth Reps!   During this trip in 2018, we held an election, where nine of the youth reps were elected to the ESEAOR Youth Executive Committee, and I was elected. I felt privileged because I was new, just a girl from Cook Islands, and it made me feel good. I had doubts because I come from a small nation and doubted my experience in SRH and being a youth rep. But after talking to my fellow Pacific Island youth reps, I thought this is a perfect opportunity to put the Pacific on the map in IPPF. The top two positions were both awarded to Pacific Youth Representatives, and I was voted in as Deputy Chairman for the period of three years.   I admired the other youth reps from SE Asia so much, they were so vocal and outspoken. Over my three years in this position, we recommended that those of us that age over 25 should become mentors to the younger youth reps who come in. Our next trip was to the IPPF General Assembly in India, and I remember thinking ‘this is big, this is really big. There must be something that people recognise in me that I don’t even see in myself.’   That experience built my confidence and leadership skills so much’.  

It’s a scene like many others around the world: a loving family pour over childhood photos, giggling and reminiscing about the memories. This particular scene takes place amongst the swaying palm trees and soft breeze rolling over the island of Rarotonga in the Cook Islands, and the child they are cooing over – then named Nathanial – is now a beautiful transgender woman, Natalia.   Born in New Zealand to Cook Islanders parents, 36-year-old Natalia (Talia) Lajpold, says she has always known she was female. Talia grew up in Australia and began her transitioning process at the age of 15. In the last year of her schooling, Talia decided to wear the girl’s uniform to school but was met with disapproval from the school authorities.   “A lot of people think [being transgender] is a choice but if I had a choice, I would choose for things to be normal, the way I was born. Because it’s really hard. High school was hard,” Talia recalls.

The Cook Islands has removed a law that criminalizes homosexuality, in a huge victory for the local LGBTI+ community.  Our local Member Association, the Cook Islands Family Welfare Association (CIFWA), has been integral to the advocacy around this law reform, which has faced many hurdles since the movement kicked off in 2017. Staff and volunteers at CIFWA have worked in step with Pride Cook Islands and the Te Tiare Association (TTA), two of the biggest LGBTI+ advocacy organizations in the country, to end discrimination and promote human rights. Meet some of the inspiring people behind this historic movement.

On the island of Rarotonga, the main island of the Cook Islands in the South Pacific, a little white van makes its rounds on the palm-tree lined circular road. The van, run by the Cook Islands Family Welfare Association (CIFWA), stops off at condom distribution points along the way, refilling the condom stock.  Dean Tangata, a 26-year-old humanitarian focal point for CIFWA and a registered nurse, is behind the wheel.  "Our condom dispensers get emptied so quickly!” said Dean. “We refill them twice a week.”   On Rarotonga, the locals refer to a system called ‘coconut wireless’ - a local phrase meaning to communicate quickly by word-of-mouth. This means that discretion is key to encourage people to practise safe sex and use condoms.  According to the Cook Islands Ministry of Health 2014, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are common in the Cook Islands. A study conducted in 2006 showed a 22% prevalence rate of chlamydia; 46% of these cases were in people between the ages of 15 and 29 years. After a robust intervention campaign, a repeat survey in 2012 showed a 50% decrease in prevalence. This is why CIFWA instigated a condom dispenser system, placing handmade dispensers (that an industrious staff member made from cutting holes in piping) inside bathrooms in restaurants around the island. “We’re the ‘sex people’ - the ‘sex workers’ who roll up in our condom car,” says Dean, smiling.

I left Somaliland when I was 9 years old with my mother, brother, uncles, aunts and cousins. It was the civil war and we were lucky enough to reach Canada as refugees. I remember that time as a pleasant, warm, loving time where my cousins and I had a lot of freedom to play, walk to school and daydream. I am from Somaliland so of course I am part of the 97-98% or so of girls who undergo the female genital cut. I think it happened when I was around seven years old. I remember being restrained. I remember strangers being around and I remember peeing standing up and it burning. These memories don’t come up often and they don’t cause me pain. It’s a distant, childhood event. A cousin and a niece my age were there and we went through it together and afterwards our mothers and aunts took care of us. I grew up, went to school, questioned the world and my role in it for a time, got married, had kids and eventually went back to Somaliland. There I met Edna Adan Ismail and asked to volunteer with her. She opened her office, hospital and life to me and I became immersed in the maternal health issues of the women in my home country. The effort to end FGM Most were not as lucky as I had been. Because of FGM/C (female genital mutilation/circumcision), most had experienced recurring infections and difficulties in child birth. Some had formed cysts, some became infertile, and some had obstetric fistula. But few linked these problem to the cutting. At SOFHA (Somaliland Family Health Association) we’ve been working to help women (and men) understand these links and get the help they need. That’s only a part of the work. The effort to end FGM/C in Somaliland goes back almost 40 years. FGM/C programs and projects have been happening for at least the last 25 years. We’re now at the point where it’s recognized as a legitimate, critical, health and social issue. We’re on the cusp of a law against the practice and I have personally witnessed a transformation among the individuals who engage in this work. NGO and government staff tasked with working on FGM/C used to go into communities apologetically, “Sorry but we have to talk to you about this ‘issue’, we know it’s unpleasant but bear with us” to “I have 2 daughters and I have not cut them. This is a terrible practice and we must stop it now”. It fills me with great joy to see young women and men taking this personal stance and doing it confidently and proudly. But it’s not easy for most people to do this. It certainly wasn’t for me. This is personal. This is private. Before I got into the work I might have said, “What business is it of yours anyway? Do you really want me digging into your private life? Into your past and history? I am not a victim. I may be a survivor but not in the way you think and not for the reasons you imagine. I am bigger than this. This doesn’t define me.” Dignity, bravery, respect And it may not define most Somali women. I think that’s what confuses many people. Maybe it’s because it happens in childhood and those memories are lost or hidden or maybe because mothers and grandmothers have such good intentions or maybe because it’s so universal within the community? That’s why it’s a completely different experience for a young Somali girl born and brought up somewhere else. The experience is very personal and it varies from person to person. Dignity, respect and bravery are guiding principles for our work on female genital mutilation. In Somaliland, a dynamic young generation connected to the world through the internet, and integrated multi-pronged FGM/C programming, is helping us to influence a generation of Somalis to abandon the cut and break the cycle. It’s still some distance away but we see the end in sight. Words Amal Ahmed, the executive director of our Member Association in Somaliland (SOFHA)