How to masturbate if you have a vagina

Bed with sex toys

Did your sex education include anything about masturbation? Ours neither! That’s why we’d love to talk to you about it – specifically, if you have a vagina. (If you’ve got a penis, we’ve got some info for that too.

First things first: there is absolutely nothing shameful about masturbation! Not in the slightest. It is perfectly normal and healthy. It can help relieve stress, and is a good way of exploring your own body and sexuality, and it just feels really good! 

People of all ages, genders and sexualities do it. People in every single country in the world do it. Single people and people in relationships do it. Some people do it frequently, others do it occasionally and some don’t do it at all. It’s all normal. We’re glad we’ve cleared that up! 

Getting started

Next, how should it be done? There are plenty of ways, and it’s all about finding what works for you. 

Vagina diagram

The two main ways people with vaginas masturbate is either clitorally or vaginally. Before you get going on the good stuff, a helpful place to start may be to see what you look like down there, by getting a hand mirror and trying to locate the clitoris, vagina opening, labia etc. The picture on the left might help you match up what’s what, but don’t worry if you’re still not sure – all vaginas are different and that’s OK!

Stimulating the clitoris

The clitoris (or clit), marked in the picture, has thousands of nerve endings making it a highly sensitive area, and is how most people with vaginas achieve orgasm. It can be stimulated with your fingers, or with a vibrating sex toy (more on that later). 

Using either your fingers or a sex toy (or a combination of both) try rubbing the clitoris in circular or back-and-forth motions, with varying levels of pressure until you find something that brings you to a nice state of arousal. 

You can also get the different parts of the labia involved (consult the picture again to find them), by seeing if stimulating them in a similar way feels good. 

The G-spot

The vagina may also be a source of joy for you, specifically the G-spot. It’s located internally, and can be trickier to find and stimulate. To find it, slowly insert one or two fingers into your vagina opening, and curl them upwards to touch or rub the textured area behind your pubic bone. Some people find this extremely satisfying, though it’s also pretty normal if it isn’t pleasurable or orgasm-inducing for you at all. 

What products should I use?

If you’re just starting out, you could consider a smaller sex toy, such as a bullet to stimulate your clitoris and labia. There are also toys specifically for the G-spot that can help you explore this sometimes-mysterious erogenous zone too! You might find that adding a few drops of lube onto your body or sex toy might enhance the pleasure too. 

Remember to wash sex toys before and after use, and to wash your hands before and after masturbating or any kind of sexual activity.

Positions

For all types of masturbation, you might also want to think about positions. Many people choose to lie back on their bed for comfort, but you might find that, for example, kneeling, sitting or standing up works better, or masturbating in the shower might do it for you. 

How long should it take?

There’s no time limit for how long it may take to orgasm (which typically feels like an intense build-up, culminating in a pleasurable release), so take as long as you need.

Is it safe to masturbate?

No matter what you’ve heard, masturbation is completely safe – nothing bad will happen to you if you do it. In many ways it’s actually the safest form of sex there is, as there’s no risk of HIV/STI transmission or unintended pregnancy. Just make sure you masturbate in private, and if you choose to do it with a partner (which can also be a lot of fun), ensure that they have consented first. 

Not only is it safe, it is probably a lot more common than you think. All in all, there is no right or wrong way to masturbate – it’s all about trying out different techniques to find something that works for you. Enjoy!